Wednesday, November 28, 2012

The Sweetest Thing

I always wonder if I would have breastfed Cannon longer than the fourteen months that I did had I not been pregnant with Opal.  It was so sweet nursing him to sleep and then one day he went to bed without me and that was that.  I feel like I missed a lot of sweet, tender moments with him during my pregnancy with Opal as she was quite hard on me:)  Though Cannon is very educated when it comes to "Mommy's boobies" he's never tried to nurse me since Opal's been born.  He's been in a "Mommy" mode lately.  Today he told Opal, "No, no, no, Opal, I want to see Mommy!"  So at night when I'm putting Opal to bed in her room, nursing her, Cannon comes in ever so sweetly.  "Hey Mommy.  I want to sit beside you.  I want to snuggle you."  It just melts my heart.  So I told him he could sit on the bed beside me and lay his head on my shoulder. So there we are, Opal in my arms nursing, and Cannon on my shoulder snuggling.  It's the sweetest thing ever.  Now almost nightly he comes in with his blanket while I'm nursing Opal, and says in the sweetest two-year-old voice, "I want to put my head on your shoulder, Mommy."  Well, climb on up here, baby.  And there we sit, the three of us snuggling.  Precious moments that I'll cherish always. 

On a side note, Cannon's booby vocabulary can be quite hilarious.  Cannon knows his full name is Cannon Michael Martin.  Sometimes he refers to himself as "Cannon Michael Tractor." Chris was teasing him today calling him, "Cannon Michael Who" (referencing the Grinch).  So Cannon says, "Cannon Michael WHO. Cannon Michael BOO.  Where's YOUR booby, Mommy? Under your shirt!  Where's your milk, Mommy? Under your shelter!" 

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Running with Babies

Some folks are probably annoyed that I refer to my kids as "babies."  Even my two year old tells me he's not a baby, he's a big boy.  Well, big boys pee-pee in the potty, son!  ha.  But they are MY babies and they still require a stroller when we go certain places.  Like running around the neighborhood, which Oh yes I did!  I googled "couch to 5K" and got my post-baby booty in gear.  I've only done it one day so far, but it felt good and yes there were moments as I was pushing 50+ pounds of BABIES uphill that I felt like "supermom"!  And I will Turkey Trott my flabby turkey ass through 5Ks come November 17.  That's only five more weeks to do a nine week program, but hey, I'm supermom.  I might even sip a latte while I'm running and get one of those "3.2" stickers to go on my SUV.  I've recently seen "0.0" stickers on cars which did make me laugh out loud, but that's not gonna be this mama!  See ya at that finish line:)

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

I make milk.....AND babies, what's YOUR superpower?

I've come to the realization that for the past three and a half years I have been pregnant and/or breastfeeding.  Crazy.  What body? I honestly don't remember what it used to be like.

A meeting at work today somehow ended with birthing stories share time.  I love talking about my babies being born.  Such precious memories.  And it reminds me how I'm sure I don't want to go through it again.  It's also true that there's always going to be someone's birthing story that is more dramatic and traumatic than yours and there's always one that's way easier and more euphoric than yours. 

This is also true of life.  Someone's always fighting a greater battle than me.  And there's someone who's got it easier.  I guess we're all stuck somewhere in the middle.  Life is hard sometimes.  At the end of the day I have these sweet babies to come home to.  I love them more than anything or anyone. 

Monday, August 27, 2012

Ain't No Shame In My Game

This is my kitchen.  And my laundry room.  I think the washer/dryer looks awesome wedged up against the fridge personally.  No kitchen is too small for an island/clothes folding station.  No, your eyes haven't deceived you...there's no dishwasher!  Well, there is, you just can't see me because I'm taking the picture! ha! 

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Here's My Bathroom. Like you care.

Confession:  I read blogs in secret that aren't on my bloglist.  Sometimes I read blogs that I might not even necessarily like just so that I can be like, "What?  Really?  Are you seriously showing us your bathroom?"  Now some people might actually care about bathrooms.  I care about mine.  I use it every day.  I mean I have a whole pinterest board dedicated to bathrooms because ONE day I hope to redo my bathroom!

I grew up in a simple brick house with three bedrooms and two bathrooms.  Luxury compared to the washrooms that my parents had growing up.  My mom is sixty-seven years old, the youngest of eight children.  She grew up dirt poor. Not exaggerating. They had an outhouse.  Not lying.  My dad was rich comparitively as they got indoor plumbing when he was only sixteen.  So really, I'm SPOILED!  Now here is a brief bathroom history of my life (HAHA):
  • In college I shared one bathroom with six other girls.
  • First apartment with roommates shared a bathroom.
  • First apartment by myself had my very own bathroom all by myself! yay! For about seven months til CM made his way into my house!
  • Our next house was fancy.  A townhome with 3BR/2.5B.  We shared the house with Chris's sister so she got the "master" and I had to share a bathroom with a boy! gross!
  • Next house: 3BR/2B for two people.  Again spoiled.
  • Next house: 3BR/2B for two people and a baby.  Spoiled brats.
  • THIS house:
Here is our master bath:

And here is our guest bathroom:

And here is our bathroom just for our kids:
So we have THREE bathrooms! hahahahaha

Now, if  you are one of those people who actually have three bathrooms, Congratulations!  And if you want to blog about your bathrooms, I say go for it!  I mean I'm doing it!  But don't, DON'T complain about how hard it is to clean your WHIRLPOOL tub!!

You're probably thinking this bathroom isn't THAT bad, because that's what I thought at first glance.  It was one of the first things we had on the to-do list when we bought the house almost two YEARS ago, but we ran out of money and babies took over our lives.  Now, you may think that is some nice classic tile on the walls, but it is not.  It is one solid sheet of glossy plastic faux tile.  That tub is a 1955 orignial though!  I don't know what's going on with the shower walls though because they stop at an awkard height and there is plywood behind it!  Yes, plywood!  What?  I'm really afraid of redoing the bathroom because I'm afraid of all the problems the destruction of it will uncover.  That floortile is linoleum and even the walls are not drywall, but again some sort of shiny plastic material with unrepairable holes drilled all in it.  The medicine cabinet is also original to the house.  There are some nice storage shelves behind the door and it is not too small of a space.  There is NO vent though!  I have made some improvements: It has a shower curtain, a rug, some curtains on the window, a laundry basket, some candles, and a lot of unorganized fashion baskets with crap in them on the open shelves.  I'll post the AFTER picture next year, or maybe the next... Humble enough to be thankful for one working toilet:)

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Who dat is? My Baby Daddy.

Yesterday, I braved the doctor's office with two small children.  One well check-up, one sick.  Who knew it could be so complicated to have two children seen at the same time?  I called the day before to set up the appointments and they don't schedule sick visits the day before, but I was able to talk to a nurse and have the two appointments back to back with the same doctor.  Or so I thought.  Apparently I scheduled two appointments with two different doctors.  The receptionist was just as confused as I was and couldn't understand why I would do such a thing.  Well, I didn't mean to and didn't realize I had.  I really wanted to see the NP that I'm used to, but got stuck with a doctor that I don't really know for both appointments.  To make matters even more complicated my babies are on different insurances because I'm an idiot that applied for PeachCare when given the opportunity because I made so LITTLE money last year.  Only Cannon qualified though.  Why one child and not the other?  Who know?  I don't understand it.  It has been the biggest headache and I will never do it again.  The issue this day was that this doctor's office was not listed at his provider. And they tried to charge me for Opal's well visit.  Now I have to call both insurance companies! this point I'm on the verge of a Mommy Meltdown because I'm already trying to contain a toddler in the waiting area while also tending to a ten month old. (Yes, I missed the nine month check up by a bit. oops.)  And the receptionist keeps asking me all these questions as I try to wrangle my children. 

Once we finally get back to see the doctor which I may have seen once before, she is rushing and acting like she doesn't really have time for us and I need to get to the point.  She wants me to tell her what's wrong with Cannon since he's the sick one.  I start by introducing myself and my children.  She doesn't blink.  I go on to explain that Cannon has had a very snotty nose, is starting to cough, and he is hoarse.  She looks at me like none of those things are a big deal at all.  So I go on to say, BUT what I'm really worried about is him having an ear infection because every time he has a runny nose, he's pretty much guaranteed to get an ear infection.  The dr. quickly checks his ears and exclaims that I'm right.  Duh.  I know.  She hasn't been rude this whole time just kind of disinterested. 

Dr. tells me she's going to prescribe an antibiotic.  Which one?  I ask.  Well, I won't know until I review his charts and history.  I go on to tell her his history because I am his mother and I know!  I tell her the reason I ask is because if it is Omnicef (the strongest antibiotic) PeachCare won't pay for it.  Yes, they want everyone to benefit from healthcare and have it for free, but poor kids don't deserve the best medicine.  Only mediocre. 

Not that she's been warm and fuzzy up until this point, but the mood shifts and I become suddenly aware that she is viewing me differently because ONE of my children is on Medicaid.  She then starts nosing around as to WHY one is on the Peachcare and not the other.  I don't know.  It baffles me, too.  Then she looks me square in the eye and asks me in dead seriousness if they have different dads?????  I was taken aback and scoffed a sort of snort and said no as if it were the most absurd thing anyone had said to me all day.  And it was.  I became offended.  Really?  I didn't realize I looked like the type of girl that had two babies in 20 months by two different daddies.   Apparently I do.  Or did she only assume it was a possibility because of my health insurance situation??  Like I was a lower class and I must sleep around.  Good grief!  Who has the time or energy to find a second man to sleep with when you have a baby less than a year old.  I guess if I had started online dating as soon as I had given birth to my firstborn I would have been able to find another prospect.  Better yet, I would have had more time to find my second child's father if I had gone manhunting while I was still pregnant with the first one.  I realize that scenarios like this do happen in real life, but not MY real life.  I guess she thought I wanted to celebrate my son's first birthday by having sex with a new man!  So, yes condescending doctor the reason my children have two different insurance policies is because I have two different baby daddy!!  I mean I know my cleavage was a creeping, but that's because my breastmilk was ready to come out not because I was ready to put out! don't think she even realized what she said was inappropriate! 

Moving on...her etiquette did not improve much.  She was never rude just....ugh!  She whizzed through Opal's check-up.  I mentioned her that she had stopped taking a bottle and would not take a sippy cup though I've bought every kind ever invented.  She told me not to give up because it's important that my baby stay hydrated especially in this heat.  No! I'm just going to let my baby thirst.  So what if she won't take a sippy cup.  Too bad for her!  Really?  Then she proceeded to tell me that I must be doing something right because her growth is in the 99th percentile so she's obviously getting enough to eat and drink.  Well, thank you.  Good to know that my baby is OK despite the fact that I have government assistance.  I realize there are certain things that a doctor is required to say, but I am not an uneducated whore who doesn't know what's best for my children.  Then she sent me home with a box of condoms so I don't get pregnant by yet a third baby daddy!

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Barefoot and Pregnant???

Well, in the past month I've actually managed to lose five pounds!  I rode my bicycle a lot on vacation and I think that really helped.  I can feel things shifting to the right places gradually and on some days I actually feel pretty good about myself.  Today was one of those days I was feeling good.  Staying with my parents for the weekend, we were all getting ready to go to church and I realize I didn't bring any church shoes.  I could have worn my flip flops, but I found a vintage pair of wedges circa 2000 in my old bedroom, so I thought I'd break them out.  And break they did.  As I was walking into church they completely fell apart.  Maybe the heat melted the glue that was holding them together, but the bottom completely fell off both shoes.  Great.  However, not a problem for this country girl at a very country church.  I simply threw them in the trashcan in the bathroom on my way and took my seat in my pew in my bare feet.  It didn't even seem like anyone noticed at all.  Oh, but there was one dear old soul that did.  At the end of the service mingling, barefoot, baby-passing, elderly lady that I've known my whole life came up to me, RUBBED MY BELLY, and said these words: "He's keeping you barefoot and pregnant, isn't he?"  WT...?  Mortified!  I shake it off and remind myself that she is elderly and using a walker.  A fellow new mom reassures me that she is on pain killers that cause diarrhea of the mouth.  I've had several previous experiences with idiotic people suggesting that I was pregnant when I in fact was NOT, but this is the first time someone as actually rubbed my NON-pregnant belly!  I did not like it.  One bit.  I'm getting back on my bicycle as soon as I get home!

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Body By Baby

Slowly, slowly, slowly but surely I am coming to terms with my "body by baby."   I've decided to document my "journey" (I would say back to my "pre-baby" body, but I've accepted that there is no such thing in existence anymore) forward to my "body by ME!"  Because ME is the only way this body is going to change.  I've become more and more inspired recently by women who are embracing their baby bellies.  No matter how saggy, stretched out, or stretch marked!  I've considered documenting pictures of my (hopefully) changing body, but don't want to be offensive!  So I've decided to at least document with words my "Body By Baby" to "Body by ME." experience.  I'm going to start with a timeline going "weigh" back (ha!) to my glory days if you will and documenting my body before baby.  Loving the alliterations here! 

I don't know why, but I remember all these numbers.  Perhaps I was obsessive with the scale at some points in my life.  For the record I'm 5'8."

At my skinniest-125 lbs. graduating from high school.  Boney is more the word probably.
135 lbs. graduating from college.
Sometime during the post college years my weight fluctuated alot and I actually got up to around 154, but I do feel that my "ideal" weight is around 140.
By the time I got married I was weighing 145.
One year after I got married i was weighing 157!  hmmm....first year of marriage
And this is the exact time that I got pregnant!  So my offical pre-pregnancy weight is 157.
I gained 48 pounds while I was pregnant tipping the scale at a whopping 205!  I cried.

Here is where I started to learn a lot about my own body.  It's hard to accept the staying weight when everyone around you that also just had a baby is wearing their regular clothes one MONTH post-partum!  Geez.  Now, everyone and their mama and strangers and their mamas would tell me that if I just breastfeed the weight will come right off.  Well, I am breastfeeding! And I did for 14 months.  After the initial weightloss immediately after giving birth I plateaued at 176 for a LONG time.  Still 20 lbs. more than my starting weight and 30-35 lbs. more than where I really wanted to be.  I learned later that apparently 1 in 5 women DON'T lose the baby weight until they STOP breastfeeding.  Keeping my fingers crossed I carried on.  Well, that does make some since.  I mean I guess I have all this extra armpit fat and backfat to help support the D's that I'm carrying around.  Sure enough around month 9-10ish the weight starts coming off pretty steadily and sure enough just as my baby is turning one I'm buttoning my old pants and the scale tells me I'm 153!  A little less than where I started!  And sure enough just as soon as I'm buttoning my pants I'm peeing on a stick and it's telling me I'm pregnant AGAIN!

I am determined not to gain as much weight this time and make an effort not to.  All is going well and I am maintaining my weight better and not gaining as much weight as fast.  Then summer comes and I'm not working and it's hot as blue blazes and I don't want to move.  Then a lot of different things happen and I'm on "bedrest" for the most part.  Granted I probably would have gained the 50 lbs. anyway, but I tell myself that's why. 

So here I am eight months out of my second pregnancy and that dreaded plateau is still lingering.  The scale tells me 177 on a friendly day.  However, I have noticed things shifting and I did button up some pants that were one size smaller than what I had to purchase initially to go back to work in.  And honestly it's not the number that absolutely kills me.  It's the belly.

Clothes just don't fit right.  There's a certain sagginess to it that's hard to explain.  If I pull up my pants too high there's the mom bulge that just looks ridiculous.  If I don't pull them up high enough then there's the spill over.  I really don't know what to do with that extra skin that's just hanging out down there.  If I could just pull it up and duct tape it in place all would be well.  I do worried that it may never go completely away and I assume that it probably has something to do with the two c-sections.  But I'm embracing, remember?  And the stretchmarks.  I can handle the stretchmarks as long as some toning happens.  So far, I've been doing a lot of walking, working out with Carmen (Electra that is, in order to be "Fit to Strip" ha), push-ups and baby curls:)  So this is my journey.  And as soon as school is out I'm going to be balls to the walls working out so I can make an appearance this summer in my bathing suit with a skirt. 

Here's my before picture.  Oh the streching!!!  Only 33 weeks here:
Maybe I'll work up the nerve to post a recent before picture of my current belly....

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

O vs. C

Well we all know that girls mature faster than boys, duh!  But little Opal is living proof!  She is after her "big" brother all day long following him around and studying his every move.  We already know she's a good bit ahead on the weight charts.  Case in point, Opal is eight months old and weighs a whopping twenty-two pounds if not more by now.  Cannon didn't weight that until he was a year old.  My little chub chub.  She's been wearing twelve month clothes since she was six months and can wear some eighteen month clothes!  Cannon still has some eighteen month clothes that he can wear!  They have worn the same size diapers for months!  And they fit Opal more snuggly than Cannon!  Here are a few milestone comparisons between Opal and Cannon.  (I still haven't put any of them in her baby book!  Poor second baby.)

-Cannon got his first teeth (two bottom at the same time) at 6 months.  Opal got hers (same teeth on the bottom) at 7 months.
-Cannon crawled at nine months, Opal at seven.
-Cannon pulled up at nine months, Opal at eight.
-They both started sitting up around the same time, but Opal became a lot sturdier a lot faster.  She has to keep up with her brother.
-Cannon didn't walk until he was sixteen months old!  At the rate Opal is going it might not be long, but I am hoping she holds out a little longer! I know once she starts walking we are all in trouble!

Cannon and Opal have the best time together.  They play together and talk to each other.  The other day Cannon said, "Let's play with the tractors, Opal.  Come dis way."  He is a good big brother and lets her know when she is not doing the right thing!  haha.  I try to keep up with the darndest things he says and I'm going to make a list soon.  I think soon we'll try to put them in the same room together.  Maybe when Opal starts sleeping through the night!  Cannon was sleeping through the night at three months...Opal not so much.  That's one thing he's got her beat on!

Friday, March 9, 2012


I looked up the definition of "just" just to be sure. ha. There are several definitions of the word, but the one that applies to this ongoing situation is as follows: only, merely.

Here's the context. Before I had two children I had one. I would hear this comment frequently: Just the one? As in just the one child? Only one? Just one kid? JUST??!!! It's one of those words that the more and more I say it the less sense it makes. Just, just, just, just...

Isn't there a better way to ask if someone has more children? It implies insignificance. Like if you only have one child you have it easy or something's wrong with you. I know a lot of people have a problem with people only having one child. Like it's any of their business as to how many kids someone has. I mean people take it personal.

I guess I could see why some people would be offended by another's decision to only have one child. They are cursing their child with "only child syndrome." Their child will never have a sibling, will be lonely, etc. I still don't understand why people get so worked up about other's decisions to only have one child or not have any at all! Wait a minute, I'm a hypocrite, because I've had plenty of two cents about people who have WAY too many kids! oops!

BUT this is about me JUST having TWO children! Just the two? How many kids do STRANGERS expect me to have? When do people stop saying "just"? Do people say "just the three" or "just the five"? NO! That's when people start saying, "WOW! You've got your hands full!" So what is the perfect amount of kids for these "people"? I guess 2.5 it is because that's the magic number that's never going to happen and that's why no one is ever satisfied with how many kids you have!!

I will admit that I secretly have a longing for a large family BUT I refuse to birth any more babies out of THIS body and I DON'T believe that's what OUR bodies were made for. I don't exist to give birth. Sure, part of me wishes I could give my son a brother and my daughter a sister and they would always have each other. I value my sanity though. I don't believe this makes me selfish either. I will always do anything and everything for my TWO children. I love them more than ANYTHING in this world. They fill my heart and break it at the same time. To me no other love compares to this mother's love that I've recently discovered.

All this being said I respect people's decisions to only have one child or not have any children at all. But I do not respect the judgement of JUST! And I do have OPINIONS of some families that have excessive numbers of offspring. Especially as I pack another child into an already filled car in the carrider line every day! However, to each her own and at the end of the day the most important thing to me is JUST my two babies.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street?