Saturday, July 7, 2012

Who dat is? My Baby Daddy.

Yesterday, I braved the doctor's office with two small children.  One well check-up, one sick.  Who knew it could be so complicated to have two children seen at the same time?  I called the day before to set up the appointments and they don't schedule sick visits the day before, but I was able to talk to a nurse and have the two appointments back to back with the same doctor.  Or so I thought.  Apparently I scheduled two appointments with two different doctors.  The receptionist was just as confused as I was and couldn't understand why I would do such a thing.  Well, I didn't mean to and didn't realize I had.  I really wanted to see the NP that I'm used to, but got stuck with a doctor that I don't really know for both appointments.  To make matters even more complicated my babies are on different insurances because I'm an idiot that applied for PeachCare when given the opportunity because I made so LITTLE money last year.  Only Cannon qualified though.  Why one child and not the other?  Who know?  I don't understand it.  It has been the biggest headache and I will never do it again.  The issue this day was that this doctor's office was not listed at his provider. And they tried to charge me for Opal's well visit.  Now I have to call both insurance companies!

ANYWAY...at this point I'm on the verge of a Mommy Meltdown because I'm already trying to contain a toddler in the waiting area while also tending to a ten month old. (Yes, I missed the nine month check up by a bit. oops.)  And the receptionist keeps asking me all these questions as I try to wrangle my children. 

Once we finally get back to see the doctor which I may have seen once before, she is rushing and acting like she doesn't really have time for us and I need to get to the point.  She wants me to tell her what's wrong with Cannon since he's the sick one.  I start by introducing myself and my children.  She doesn't blink.  I go on to explain that Cannon has had a very snotty nose, is starting to cough, and he is hoarse.  She looks at me like none of those things are a big deal at all.  So I go on to say, BUT what I'm really worried about is him having an ear infection because every time he has a runny nose, he's pretty much guaranteed to get an ear infection.  The dr. quickly checks his ears and exclaims that I'm right.  Duh.  I know.  She hasn't been rude this whole time just kind of disinterested. 

Dr. tells me she's going to prescribe an antibiotic.  Which one?  I ask.  Well, I won't know until I review his charts and history.  I go on to tell her his history because I am his mother and I know!  I tell her the reason I ask is because if it is Omnicef (the strongest antibiotic) PeachCare won't pay for it.  Yes, they want everyone to benefit from healthcare and have it for free, but poor kids don't deserve the best medicine.  Only mediocre. 

Not that she's been warm and fuzzy up until this point, but the mood shifts and I become suddenly aware that she is viewing me differently because ONE of my children is on Medicaid.  She then starts nosing around as to WHY one is on the Peachcare and not the other.  I don't know.  It baffles me, too.  Then she looks me square in the eye and asks me in dead seriousness if they have different dads?????  I was taken aback and scoffed a sort of snort and said no as if it were the most absurd thing anyone had said to me all day.  And it was.  I became offended.  Really?  I didn't realize I looked like the type of girl that had two babies in 20 months by two different daddies.   Apparently I do.  Or did she only assume it was a possibility because of my health insurance situation??  Like I was a lower class and I must sleep around.  Good grief!  Who has the time or energy to find a second man to sleep with when you have a baby less than a year old.  I guess if I had started online dating as soon as I had given birth to my firstborn I would have been able to find another prospect.  Better yet, I would have had more time to find my second child's father if I had gone manhunting while I was still pregnant with the first one.  I realize that scenarios like this do happen in real life, but not MY real life.  I guess she thought I wanted to celebrate my son's first birthday by having sex with a new man!  So, yes condescending doctor the reason my children have two different insurance policies is because I have two different baby daddy!!  I mean I know my cleavage was a creeping, but that's because my breastmilk was ready to come out not because I was ready to put out! don't think she even realized what she said was inappropriate! 

Moving on...her etiquette did not improve much.  She was never rude just....ugh!  She whizzed through Opal's check-up.  I mentioned her that she had stopped taking a bottle and would not take a sippy cup though I've bought every kind ever invented.  She told me not to give up because it's important that my baby stay hydrated especially in this heat.  No! I'm just going to let my baby thirst.  So what if she won't take a sippy cup.  Too bad for her!  Really?  Then she proceeded to tell me that I must be doing something right because her growth is in the 99th percentile so she's obviously getting enough to eat and drink.  Well, thank you.  Good to know that my baby is OK despite the fact that I have government assistance.  I realize there are certain things that a doctor is required to say, but I am not an uneducated whore who doesn't know what's best for my children.  Then she sent me home with a box of condoms so I don't get pregnant by yet a third baby daddy!

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