Monday, December 13, 2010

Let It Snow.

It's snowing. A rarity here in GA. It's well below freezing. And though it's a Monday and I should be working, Cannon and I are in our pajamas watching it snow and watching The Muppets Christmas Carol here and there. I made a big ol pot of cheesy buttery grits for breakfast and Cannon sucked them down as he usually does. It's too cold to go outside and Cannon thinks he's too big to snuggle apparently. He's got places to go and things to do. Though today is not officially a "snow day" I've declared it my snow day. A day to spend with my baby who is quickly approaching non-baby status here in a few weeks. These days are few and far between that I get to spend all day with my little boy listening to his squeals and squeaks, singing, babbling, and laughing. I simply wish every day was a snow day.

Friday, November 12, 2010


This is a little acronym I use at work when I'm a little on the frustrated side. Other People's Kids. Other People's Kids are not my own. There are a handful that I wouldn't mind taking home with me, but for the most part I just want their parents to come get them. Now, I've only been a parent for going on 11 months, but I've been dealing with OPK from a "professional" stand point for a little more than 6 years now. I've recently taken on the task of first grade OPKs. They are super cute and sweet and they love you and want to hug you. A little one was all over me the other day and then started rubbing my belly and proceeded to ask me if I had a "baby in my belly." No....I already had my baby, but thanks for asking! Really shot down my self esteem after squeezing into and buttoning my pre-pregnancy pants earlier that day. But hey, Kids say the darndest things...So, I'm reading with this "small group" of six year olds and after we've learned some new words and written the words and spelled the words and read the words some more, I ask them if they know what it means to study. ??? some blank looks. I'm like you know when you go home and practice what you've learned that day and you read books, etc. After some deep thought one kid responds. "I ride my bike." "Oh yeah, and I have a skateboard." Great news!! We had read a book titled "Tigers, Tigers" and every time this one little boy saw it he said, "Lions, Lions!" What letter does it start with I'd ask. T! he'd proudly say. What sound does T make? t-t-T! What's the word? Lions! God bless him.

Friday, October 8, 2010

The Full Time Mom

I've heard it alot. What do you do for a living? I stay at home with my kids. I'm a full-time mom! I hate that term. It suggests that the working mother is not a full-time mom, but merely a part-time mom? That's absurd. I have two jobs. One, where I take care of OPK, all the while wishing i was at home taking care of my own, and two a FULL-TIME mother! I think the two groups: working outside the home moms and stay at home moms probably have some strong opinions of each other.

Who would give up their "career"?(I use the term loosely because I don't consider myself to have a career. I have a job. I don't care to be a big dog or climb to the top of the ladder.) And what's a career worth in the end when you've missed so many precious moments with your babies? Technically, I only work about 36 weeks out of the year. It's what gets me through the work week...looking forward to the next break/holiday.

Not everyone has the chance to opt out of their "career." Some of us don't have that luxury. I'm still working on a way that I can work from home. Maybe if I work on my blogging skills I could make money that way!

I think i have it made alot better than alot of moms out there who have to leave their babies everyday and go to work at God-awful hours. I leave my house at 6:30 and am home at 3:30. That's nine hours away from my baby! Most moms probably don't get home until 5 or 6! That means they hardly see their children!

I've looked into some MOM groups online, looking for other working moms. Well, the MOM groups of working mothers are few and far between. MOM groups meet at like 9:30 AM. Well, I'm at work at that time. I've looked for baby/Mommy exercise groups. Guess what? They get together around 9, too!

With so many working mothers nowadays, wouldn't it make sense to have some groups available to that population? Maybe I'll start one! You know what else would make sense? On campus daycare! Then I could sneak in on my lunch break and hold and snuggle my baby! And give up breast pumping standing up in the bathroom:( I feel the need to start a movement! Mothers unite!

I am thankful for my blessings. I am thankful that Cannon has his daddy at home with him. And I am thankful for the afternoons and weekends that I cherish with my baby. I am however waiting patiently for the tables to turn in my favor:) I am just a tad bit jealous of all the SAHMs and SAHDs out there. It's a hard job, I know. But I'd trade places anyday of the week. Especially days like to day when the OPKs are working my nerves!

Friday, September 17, 2010

Seems like only yesterday....

Cannon is almost nine months old. Good grief. Stop growing so fast little boy! Though it's been 3/4 of a year already...we've seen winter, spring, and seems like only yesterday that my baby boy was born. And I still get teary thinking about it. He amazes me everyday. I often say to Chris, "Can you believe he's ours?" "Can you believe he was inside of me this time last year?" The miracle of birth baffles me. So, when people use the term "miracle baby" I want to pipe up and proclaim that ALL babies are miracle babies. Yes, some of them have had rougher starts than others, but the "miracle of life" is called that for good reason.

A year is really such a short amount of time. I can recall very easily what was going on around this time last year. A flood for one! Other good friends giving birth. It bothers me when people say things like, "Oh, he's getting so big. He won't be a baby much longer." So people go to the extreme to tell me he's not a baby anymore right now! If he's not a baby, then what is he? He can't even walk or talk. I guess the actual birth of my baby is old news to most people, but it's not old news to me! I haven't even recovered 100%! My scar is still pink and sometimes tender to the touch not to mention the ten extra pounds I'm still carrying around (most of which is probably the weight of milk). People want to hear about things exciting and new. It still feels new to me. I haven't even finished thank you notes or sent out birth announcements yet! That's bad I know! Sorry Emily Post! But like I said it feels so recent to me.

And why don't people get as excited about the second baby as the first. Why do people react with "Wow, pregnant again so soon?" When the whole time the first baby was just a baby they were asking, "So, when's the next one coming?" I'm convinced people just want something to talk about. That's why the baby business and the wedding business will never go out of business. P.S. I'm not pregnant!

So, this blog may have turned into a blahg..... But Fall is getting close and I have the whole week off!!!! to spend with my BABY boy!

Monday, August 30, 2010

For the SOBs at Home Depot....

I was that mom today. So, I got Cannon one of those umbrella strollers thinking he's love it since he would be able to see where he was going and everything. And he did love for about five minutes in Home Depot today. I had to get some paint. At Home Depot. By myself. With a baby. Going out alone with a baby is always unpredictable. It can be blissful or painful. Cannon is in that stage where he semi-shrieks if you take anything away from him that he wants. Sorry, son, for taking away the paint samples! And the car keys. Lately nine times out of ten I've ended up carrying him around in stores as opposed to enjoying a nice stroll. So baby in one hand, stroller in the other. I'm looking at paint samples one-handed for like thirty minutes. NO ONE apparently wants to help a lady with a cranky baby. I finally make some choices and replace the soggy, slobbery paint samples with fresh dry ones. I wait patiently at the paint counter on the guy who seems to be pretending to be busy. "I'll be with you in just a minute ma'am." Oh, thank you for finally acknowledging me. I had some questions about which coating I should get. "Just walk right over here to the display, ma'am. What are your questions?" Either this guy had a lazy eye or he just explained the differences between the paints to my bosom. Whatever. It will be about fifteen minutes to mix the paints. I stroll around the appliance section. A few people stop to tell me how cute Cannon is. Obviously. I pace back by the paint counter a couple times. Your paints ready, ma'am. That's a lot of paint. You might better get a buggy. Gee, thanks. No problem pushing a stroller and a buggy at the same time. Why don't you get it for me, Mr. Paint Man? That would be a nice gesture. I mosey on over to find a buggy . I'm pushing the stroller and attempting to pull the buggy by the handle behind me. A nice Home Depot man offers me the wonderful advice that if I turn the buggy around I can pull it easier. Thank you, empty handed, Home Depot Man for that sound advice. So, I turn it around and he's right. It pulls easier. I load the paint (all seven cans) into the buggy. A couple of EMPTY-HANDED, wandering Home Depot workers smile at me as I'm pulling my buggy of paint and pushing my baby in his stroller to the cash register. Surely someone is going to offer to help me to my car like they do at Publix. NADA. However, one Home Depot worker does comment as I'm pulling my buggy of paint and pushing my finally sleeping baby to the parking lot that "Man, you gotta lotta work to do." Thank you for noticing.

Friday, August 27, 2010


So, Chris and his dad are working hard at the new house: ripping up carpet, moving the water heater, etc. Last night I go to get them some BBQ from a local BBQ restaurant. I take Cannon with me because he is in need of a nap and I know he'll fall asleep in the car plus I just want to spend time with my baby and let Chris and his dad get back to work. Of course he falls asleep in the car so I park close to the "to-go" entrance of the restaurant and take him inside in his carrier still asleep. No one is at the counter so I look over the menu. In bursts a very loud man through the door and shouts "Anybody home?" Luckily Cannon is sleeping hard and once the man realizes there's a sleeping baby in these tight quarters he apologizes, but still doesn't really get any quieter. That's OK I'm very used to people not respecting the needs of babies. So, I'm there first right? He doesn't acknowledge that or ask if I've ordered. Nor does the cashier that finally comes around. I say nothing. I'm not about that. I order next and when my food arrives I have to ask for every little thing. I have three BBQ plates and a gallon of sweet tea. I ask for some ketchup. I ask for some BBQ sauce. I ask for three cups. I ask for another plastic bag. I mean I have to carry all this out to my car and a baby! I feel bad asking for anything else. I fill the cups with ice, get my own napkins and am trying to stuff all this in the extra bag. Finally a nice young teenager asks if he can help me to my car! An older man that had come in later pipes up, "I was wondering how she was gonna carry all that. I was just waiting to see what she did." Well, let me tell you I could have done it! I can use the bathroom holding a baby and breastfeed standing up in a stall, mister! I kindly accepted the boy's help and thanked him alot. But why did it take so long for someone to offer to help? I guess it just surprised me because this is the type of place that is supposed to portray small town charm. I'm plenty independent, but am also still very grateful for people who take time to open doors for strangers or help old ladies with their groceries. Now, I'm not that old, but I did have quite the load! So thank you to the nice young man at BBQ Street who despite is young age is still a little old fashioned.

Friday, August 6, 2010

From the Mouths of Babes

It's hard to believe that we were all once innocent creatures. Did our parents really love us as much as we love our children? It's hard to fathom. I love my little boy more and more each day and I'm certain that love will continue to grow. If this is true of all parents, could it be that my parents in fact love me more than I love my own child? I don't think so! I'm in awe of the love and sweetness that is portrayed in Cannon's eyes. His smile. I can tell he loves me so much. The way his face lights up and his arms start flapping when I talk to him. What if I still flapped my arms when I saw my mom? I'm sure it would fill her heart with joy still. My mom's just like that. But year by year innocence is lost. He doesn't know that though. I know that ten years from now instead of laughing with his eyes he'll probably be rolling his eyes at me. And I know I'll love him all the same. I believe there's nothing like a mother's love for her child. I believe that all mothers love their children, though I witness every day the neglect and heartache of hundreds of children. I've come to the conclusion that maybe not all mothers know how to show their love to their children. Maybe they become consumed by the evils of the world and give in to selfish ways. Maybe they believe that their children don't need them anymore. Children will always need their mothers. It doesn't matter how young or old.

I hear people say all the time to enjoy this stage while it lasts. They grow too fast. They won't be babies for long. It's very true. I can't believe eight months has passed and I still haven't written all my thank you notes! But I still don't necessarily like to hear it. He's getting so big...time for another one. Like the fact that he's not a little baby anymore needs to be replaced with a newborn. He's still just a baby! He is growing so fast and these precious moments are fleeting, but I'm trying to take it all in. I've even had people say things like oh it's cute now, but just wait til they start talking back. Really? Why are people so quick to point out the negative? Am I really going to look at Cannon as a teenager and forget how sweet he is as a baby? Maybe...but I sure hope not! I believe children are a product of their environments. I hope and pray that Cannon's environment helps nurture him in every way possible and that he will always know just how much his mommy loves him forever and ever and ever with all my heart:)

Saturday, July 17, 2010

My Sweet Boy

There is this song by George Harrison, "My Sweet Lord," that Chris changed the words to "My Sweet Boy" and he sings it about Cannon. It's really sweet and cute and Cannon LOVES it.

My Sweet Boy
I really wanna hold you
I really wanna squeeze you
I really wanna kiss you
On your chubby cheeks
Cuz you're my boy
My sweet boy
Cannon Cannon
My sweet boy

You are doing so much these days now that you are 6 months old! You have really gotten the hang of rolling from your back to you tummy now. Your daddy swears you are going to be crawling soon. You reach for everything especially the dogs and water. Any time you see a cup of water you open your mouth and get really excited. You love when Daddy sings to you too. He's a better singer than Mommy:) You are making all sorts of noises and squeals. It's super cute. We finally have a baby book for you and we started filling it out. My how fast these moments pass by. You still love sleeping, but there is so much to do and see that you don't want to miss anything so you fight it a little bit. You are eating big boy food now. You really seem to like sweet potatoes, sweet corn casserole, corn and sweet potatoes, applesauce, squash, butternut squash, and you will eat sweet peas pretty good when I mix it with corn, apples and blueberries, mashed bananas and you ate mashed potatoes that I made and some mashed potatoes form Mrs. Winner's! You love being naked and you do not like your clothes being pulled over your head or your face being wiped! You love getting your sink showers. You open your mouth like a little bird and try to get the water as I'm rinsing you off. When you are good and super sturdy we'll start having bathtime in the bathtub. I know you will love it b/c you love water in every shape form or fashion. You also love your stuffed animals.You have so many of them! I don't know why I think yvou need so many of them, but I loved stuffed animals when I was little and so did your daddy so we know you will too! I recently bought you a Tigger, Winnie the Pooh and Eeyore from Kohl's. I also bought four matching books to go with it. They have a special every few months. You seem to like Tigger the best. I think it's because he has a tail! And of course you love Teddy II. At night you love sleeping with your Daddy's baby blanket that your great-great grandmother made or my baby blanket. They are super soft and you look so cozy on your belly with your blanket snuggled around you. Then when you roll over on your back in the morning I find you hugging the blanket and chewing it! You still love your mobile! Now I'll stand you up in your crib and you try to grab for them. When you want something or like something you start flapping your arms. Also when you are trying to tell me something you get this look of determination on your face and grunt and flap your arms. I wish I knew what you were thinking. And you let me know when you are sleepy by rubbing your eyes and then starting to grunt. That sleepy man gets you everytime! He's coming to get you right now!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Will Jesus Buy Me a Double Wide? 'Cause I Need More Room for My Plasma TV!

So, I haven't actually read this book yet, but I like the title. I've been pondering simplicity lately and I like the idea of simplifying my life in this world in ways that I have control of. I'm trying to avoid biggering and biggering (in the words of Dr. Suess's "The Lorax"). America is the land of plenty and many Christians fall right into the ways of keeping up with Joneses. Think about how many TVs the average American family has in their home. I googled it and on average there are more TVs per household than people! why? We have one TV in our house and NO cable! Most people cannot believe this and automatically crinkle their noses and ask WHY? I haven't had cable in about 5 years. I'm not trying to sound self-righteous here. I'm just as guilty as the next person for getting sucked in to the TV. I spent several hours a day on vacation addicted to HGTV! and I like LOST just as much as the next person. But I don't know why anyone needs a TV in the bathroom!

Since the 1950's the average home size has increased from about 1100 square feet to double that! Why do we need bigger homes? Because we have more stuff! In the past five years, I've moved 4 times. You never realize how much stuff/junk you have until you go to move it. And we've downsized every time. But there's always some new junk to replace the old. My parents have lived in the same house for 30 years. I would HATE to help them move!

The house we live in (rent) now is approximately 1100 square feet, built in the fifties. It has two bedrooms, 2 baths, a kitchen, dining room, and living room. It even has a "bonus" room dedicated to what else, but STUFF! We rarely go in there. We've been throwing our money away renting for the past...well forever, so we've decided to venture into becoming homeowners. Now, most people when they decide to buy a house, they upgrade. Bigger and better. Well, like i said, my goal is to simplify. We've spent so much money in rent, it's been hard to save enough to buy a house. So my goal in buying a house has been to reduce my monthly payments. So, how do you do that? You downsize. And you have to move further away from the city. We found a quaint little house with 3 tiny bedrooms and ONE bathroom. yes, one bathroom! I said I'd never live in a house with one bathroom. Well, never say never, right? So, we'll actually cut our rent in HALF! in HALF! yes, HALF!!! good grief! and the house is even smaller than the one we live in now, so we'll be cutting our stuff in half, too!

I said SIMPLIFY! Less is more! I'm not saying I'll never buy a bigger home. But for now, we are going to cuddle up and get cozy in this 50 year old, 900 sq. ft., one bathroom, dishwasherless, dining roomless home.

It's going to be an adventure, but my hope is that it is a humbling experience. I just want to sit still for a minute, appreciate life, appreciate my family, raise my son with good values, and hope that he'd rather read a book than watch SpongeBob! I'm going to read the book, "Will Jesus Buy Me a Double Wide ('Cause I Need More Room for My Plasma TV)" by Karen Spears Zacharias (a Christian author), be thankful for what I have and blog about our small space living experience.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Mount Saint Cannon Butt

There's this position that Cannon sleeps in that is so stinkin cute and i just can't see how it could be comfortable. He's on his belly with his little hands tucked under his head and his lips pressed against the mattress in a way that they part. And his butt is so far up in the air that is looks like he might topple over if you poke it. And his little feet are tucked under his butt with his toes touching. He looks so cozy when he sleeps like this, so secure. Chris calls it the "Mount Saint Cannon Butt" position.

This just makes me think of how safe and secure he feels in his own bed. He trusts us, his parents, with all his little heart. It really baffles me how much trust he puts in us. How does he know that Mommy and Daddy are going to take care of him no matter what? It's the love he feels. He's felt it from day one. The hugs. The kisses. The I love yous. The doing whatever it takes to make my baby feel safe, loved, comfortable, secure.

Today Chris was singing a song to Cannon that went like "I would give everything I own, give up my life my heart my home, just to be with you again, just to have you back again." And I would. I started teasing him and singing Meatloaf's song "I would do anything for love." Then we ended up having meatloaf for dinner. haha. Anyway, I would give everything and I would do anything for my sweet baby boy. I love him so much. Sometimes I ache to hold him and I just can't get enough of him. It's the strangest love. The most amazing love. There's no love like this love.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Some thoughts on Cannon....

I usually find it annoying when mothers talk in first person as if they were the baby, but I've found myself doing it, too. Let's just face it--it's more fun that way! I used to think it silly when mothers would write facts about their babies as if they were writing to them, using the pronoun "you" instead of "he" or "she." But here I am doing it too!

I want to write down the little stuff before I forget. My mom is always telling me how she wishes she could remember certain things like when I first smiled or rolled over. She wishes she had written it down. Funny how "writing it down" isn't so literal anymore. So, I'm "blogging it down" I guess. Maybe I'll get around to making one of those cute baby books some day!

First off, Cannon, you are getting so big!! You only weighed 7-7 when you was born despite everyone's concern for you being quite a large baby (Daddy weighed 12-13!). You were born a puny little thing comparatively. One week later, at your first check up, you weight 7-11.

We had to take you to the doctor for an old snotty nose when you were three weeks old and you weighed a whopping 9-2 (granted you had a full diaper, but Mommy and Daddy were still so proud of how big you were!).

At your one month check up (which was really at about 6 weeks) you weighed 10-15! And at your two month check up (around 9 weeks) you weighed 12-15! You have been in the 75th%ile for weight and your head size...well, you take after Mommy's big head....was in the 100th %ile. You had to get some shots at that 2 month appointment. It was really pitiful. You were just cooing and smiling at the nurse and out of nowhere something got you!

Now you are over 3 months old (15 weeks tomorrow) and I'm thinking you weigh a good 15 or 16 pounds! You've outgrown those size one diapers and most of your 3 months clothes. You are getting so long! I got the measuring tape out and you are 2 feet long! You can't even stretch out in your sleepers so we had to buy you some 6 months clothes!

You can hold your head up pretty good now. It's still a little wobbly, but I think that is just due to it's massive size! It's hard to hold up all those brains! We are still working on rolling over. You LOVE your mobile! Your face just lights up whenever it comes on and sometimes you start fussing when it stops just so Mommy or Daddy will start it up again! You've been smiling now for a little over a month. Mommy is learning new tricks to get you to smile. Sometimes in the morning all I have to do is talk to you and your face lights up. You sure do wake up in a good mood now! You wake up talking to your mobile and sometimes you fall asleep talking to your mobile. Lately you've liked when i blow in your face. You have the cutest reaction. Mommy has got to get a video camera! You love your sleep. Boy do you get cranky when you are tired! I think you get that from Mommy too! You have been sleeping good at night too. You go to bed around 8. We let you get good and asleep on your belly then we flip you over. Sometimes you can sleep until 5 or 6, but of course last week when Mommy had to go to work you were waking up at 4:30. So close! You've never really been a fan of the swaddle, but it seemed like a sin in Mommy World not to swaddle you! When you were really little I would leave one arm out for you because you always managed to get it up by your face. Then I started leaving 2 arms out for you. Then one day I went in and you had your arms and legs out of that swaddle! Let's face it you are a sprawler when you sleep! That must come from Daddy because he is always hogging the bed! Since Mommy started going back to work I've been putting you in the bed with Daddy after I feed you. You like to go back to sleep for your morning nap. You usually sleep until 8 or so. Mommy sure does not like leaving you in the mornings, but I know Daddy is taking good care of you. And there are only 6 more weeks til summer vacation and we can spend all day together again!

During the day you and Daddy have a lot of fun. Daddy reads to you and makes up songs for you on the guitar. He even manages to do some laundry. You've started trying to copy some of the sounds Daddy makes for you. You are so smart!

You don't seem to mind the bath. it's more like a shower I guess. You don't smile, but you don't fuss either. I think you are still trying to figure out what's going on. And boy do you LOVE to be naked. Whenever I take your clothes off to change them and then take your diaper off, you do a little naked dance! You start kicking your legs and making all sorts of noise! It's quite entertaining. Mommy has to be careful so you don't pee on me!

We've already made lots of family memories since you've been born. You've been quite've been to the beach and the mountains already! And you love going to grandmama's and granddaddy's house in the country! You are a good sport and a really good baby. You are the best Christmas present ever!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

It's on...

well, the weightloss extravaganza has officially begun. chris and i weighed in on saturday and every saturday will be a weigh in day. while chris has lost 3 pounds doing pretty much nothing, i've decided NOT to step on the scale every single day due to the disappointment it causes me. so i've decided to wait until saturday. plus i've convinced myself that a person's weight can fluctuate 5 pounds on any given day. chris refuses to believe this though. anywho, i went out and bought a scale for the first time in my adult life. i snagged one at bed bath and beyond for $14.99 b/c it was the display model. and it's digital, which i think has it's downfalls. i really don't need to know what's after that point! i'd rather round down!'s what i've been doing so far. i've decided to keep a record of it this way just b/c i'm a faster typer than writer and it will be well documented.

saturday 3/6-walked daisy to the park by our house. i clocked it in the car to the entrance of the park and back is 1.1 miles, BUT i walked into the park and did the loop trail which i don't know the exact milage of but i am estimating a total round trip of 2 miles.

monday 3/8-walked daisy again to the park and back. went to the community center which is FREE and got my ID. did 30 minutes on the stationery bike and 30 reps on this pull down thing you do with your arms. i got a class schedule, too. THEN when i got back it was so beautiful outside, chris and i took cannon for a walk on the SCT. thankfully they have mile markers there and we walked 3 miles! now needless to say i was pretty pooped after that eventful day. i think i overdid it actually considering i haven't exercised really in almost a year due to the pregnancy and birthing of the baby.

tuesday 3/9-walked daisy again. she is loving this! then burned lots of calories cleaning and rearranging furniture.

wednesday 3/10- rainy day:( but it was nice to sleep in when it's raining outside. so i broke out the pilates video that i've had for probably 6 years, but hey it still works. i used to do this video pretty regularly and was surprised today at how little flexibility i have left. plus it was hard to do some of the exercises over the pillow which is my belly. i do always feel nice and stretched afterwards and it really helps with breathing. so i'll keep doing it. there is also a part to the video that involves weights which i'm thinking about doing. i'm also contemplating busting out the carmen electra video! and maybe a class tonight at the community center. sorry daisy, no walk today. well, time to feed the baby=more calories burned! thanks, cannon!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

the motivator.

at school we have this paragraph, well it's more like an essay called "the motivator." it's one of those things kids have to write when their discipline is lacking. it starts off, "i am in school to learn..." and goes on mentioning things like success and education and being the best you can be. the kids read it and copy it in hopes that some of the words will sink in. however, most are capable of copying the whole thing, which takes up their notebook paper front and back, without being able to tell you one thing they have written. does it work? well, it works in the sense that they straighten up thier attitude so they won't have to write "the motivator" anymore. does it help them want to reach for the stars and strive for achievement? probably not. they're ten.

i'm thinking i need a "motivator."

chris and i have a bet going. a weight loss bet. i'm still carrying around the weight of two more babies! last week we went on vacation. we walked or rode our bikes every day! one day we walked over 5 miles! i almost didn't make it on that day...i was on the verge of flagging down the elderly in their golf carts. seriously two senior citizens passed me on foot. i am slowly getting back out there. then we got home and stuck back in this hustle and bustle of everday life. the day flies and before i know it it's dark and i'm too pooped to play. but i feel like scarlett o'hara. tomorrow is another day.

i am going to put down the m&ms and wipe the dust off my carmen electra "fit to strip" dvd! or i will have to write "the MOTIVATOR"!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Ka-WRONG...nice lies your friends (or strangers) tell you. Along with Christmas Day 2009.

1. you look great.

2. just breastfeed, the weight will come right off....ka-wrong again...i weigh 3 MORE pounds than i did three weeks ago.

3. just rub lotion on yourself and you won't get stretch marks...ka-wrong again... i used lotion everyday and i will never wear shorts or a two piece again. i'm saving up for a one piece with skirt.

4. oh a c-section will be'll be fine.

i'm not bitter...just thinking of joining "The Biggest Loser" season 10! Still carrying around 20+ extra pounds, but not to worry cuz i have a plan!

so, it's been a whole 2 months since my sweet baby boy was born and we are having so much fun. he's starting to coo alot and smile and even giggle every once in a while. it's hard to catch those sweet moments on camera, though. i don't EVER want to go back to work and leave my baby boy, and i am EXTREMELY jealous that his daddy gets to stay home with him! i still have four more weeks to spend all day with him though. maternity leave in america is a joke, but that's a rant for another day...

i'm going to back track a little...i can't believe it's been 2 months since cannon's birth....i do wish i had recorded more facts as i went along. i've got to get on that baby book, too. my mom is always saying, "write this down so you won't forget b/c i sure have."

As much as i had rather him not come on Christmas Day, he sure enough did! and now i wouldn't have it any other way b/c that makes his birthday extra special. i guess if he has to share his birthday with anybody, it might as well be Jesus!! though some will argue (namely my husband) that Jesus wasn't born on December 25 at all...anywho....

So, about three weeks before cannon was born i was not feeling so hot at all! i did not think i was going to make it to my due date, nor did anyone at work. they actually had a betting pool going as to when he was coming! don't think i didn't try to get in on that action. i bet the close! Month 8 was a rough one...rougher than month 9 in my opinion. but that passed and i kept showing up to work, and people kept saying, "you're still here?" "haven't had that baby yet?" blah know. well, about 10 days before he got here, i started having braxton hicks contractions very consistently (i had been having them for a long time, but they just got consistent). every 15 minutes like clockwork. i started to think i'm going to have this baby anyday now! i really wanted to make it til christmas vacation, though. lord knows i did not want to go into labor at school! that went on for about a week and 3 days before Christmas (aka cannon's birthday) i started having REAL contractions. at first i thought i just had to go to the bathroom. you know that crampy constipated feeling. ha. i made chris time the contractions, but they weren't consistent and they subsided. this went on for the next 2 nights. wednesday night 9the 23rd) they were more consistent, but still not the "real thing." finally thursday, Christmas Eve, around 4 in the afternoon they started coming closer together. i knew for sure that i was having this baby soon! so the WHOLE family was already coming over for Christmas Eve dinner. my family and chris's family. i knew i better eat up b/c i heard they won't let you eat at the hospital when you're in labor. only those d^&% ice chips! so i ate everything i could and two desserts.

i was thinking these contractions aren't so bad i can handle this. i would just kinda cringe until it passed. definitely uncomfortable, but not unbearable. definitely not a time i won't someone rubbing my belly like chris's mom asked to do right in the middle of a contraction! so i started sitting on my "birthing ball" aka the same thing as an exercise ball that i purchased earlier in the week b/c i read that it helps. well, it helps with those early contractions yes. 7 cm is a different story where no stupid ball is helping except to throw at the people who want to touch me.

so 10pm i'm going to try to get some sleep b/c i'm thinking tomorrow i am having a yes, sleep no. the contractions started coming closer together and lasting longer. chris still wasn't convinced that this was "it" after three days of contractions. he made me the sock with the rice that you put in the microwave. he rubbed my back and helped as much as he could by rubbing my back and pressing hard. my goal was to stay at home as long as i could. after every contraction i would have to go to the bathroom. at 1:00 we called the midwife. yes, sounds like you are in labor. i would guess 3 cm at this point. i lasted about another hour and then i had to go.

the car ride was NOT fun. especially since chris was driving and could rub my back. i was moaning and groaning and carrying on and chris was calling people to say we were on the way to the hospital and that he was fairly certain this was the real deal. excuse me? fairly certain? ok ok certain. no fairly. luckily there was zero traffic at 2 am on christmas morning, but it was raining.

we made it to the hospital and again not a soul... i later learned that one poor lady did not make it to the hospital and ended up having her baby in the car in the parking lot at the hospital!

i was already dilated 5 cm at this point and beginning to think i am not going to make it to 10!!! I was trying really hard to focus and breath, but the contractions at 5 cm were ALOT different than the contractions at 2! so i moaned and groaned for about 3 more hours until the contractions were coming so fast and hard i just physically could not take it anymore. i was shaking and exhausted. i had made it to 7 cm though!

i got the epidural. well, i waited for the epidural guy to get there first. they sure do take their sweet precious time! oh and you have to be still when they put that thing in. kinda hard to do if you're having a contraction. but i did it. i prayed really hard. this is what they tell you. you will feel the first contraction. the second one will be less evident. and you shouldn't feel it by the time you get to the third one. wrong. i still felt it. i was crying. i thought you weren't supposed to feel it. why do i feel it? i wouldn't have got it if i could still feel it. tears. finally kicked in. really kicked in. couldn't feel a THING.

thought i would take a nap. nope. shaking. shivering. 2 more hours passed. time to start pushing. looks like we'll have a baby here in about an hour or so. 7 am. push. i am pushing. no you're not. push harder. i can't feel anything. i don't know if i'm pushing or not. push. throw up. throw up. no water. only ice chips. push. push. push. the baby hasn't "dropped" yet. i didn't know this, but you have to get from 0 to 4 and i was only at zero. i pushed and pushed and pushed. still not good enough. turn the epidural down. didn't know you could do that. well once you turn it down apparently you can't turn it back up cuz i felt it. i pushed for 2 hours and guess what? still at zero!! i am crying and crying. i can't even hold my legs up. the midwives and nurses start to whisper. i know what they are going to say....c-section. failure to descend is what they call it. his head is too big and my pelvis is too small. on the inside. my pelvis is plenty big on the outside.

more epidural. hurry up. i can feel it. i'm watching my contractions on the contraction monitoring screen. those things were spiking up really high and lasting really long. lots of epidural. i have to be numb up to my chest for the surgery. the major surgery. people talk about c-sections so casually like it's nothing. well, it's something. finally numb. maybe too numb. my hands start to feel tingly too.

9:53 am. he's here!! 7 pounds 7 ounces! so tiny. so beautiful. so perfect.