Barefoot and Pregnant???

Well, in the past month I've actually managed to lose five pounds!  I rode my bicycle a lot on vacation and I think that really helped.  I can feel things shifting to the right places gradually and on some days I actually feel pretty good about myself.  Today was one of those days I was feeling good.  Staying with my parents for the weekend, we were all getting ready to go to church and I realize I didn't bring any church shoes.  I could have worn my flip flops, but I found a vintage pair of wedges circa 2000 in my old bedroom, so I thought I'd break them out.  And break they did.  As I was walking into church they completely fell apart.  Maybe the heat melted the glue that was holding them together, but the bottom completely fell off both shoes.  Great.  However, not a problem for this country girl at a very country church.  I simply threw them in the trashcan in the bathroom on my way and took my seat in my pew in my bare feet.  It didn't even seem like anyone noticed at all.  Oh, but there was one dear old soul that did.  At the end of the service mingling, barefoot, baby-passing, baby-trading...an elderly lady that I've known my whole life came up to me, RUBBED MY BELLY, and said these words: "He's keeping you barefoot and pregnant, isn't he?"  WT...?  Mortified!  I shake it off and remind myself that she is elderly and using a walker.  A fellow new mom reassures me that she is on pain killers that cause diarrhea of the mouth.  I've had several previous experiences with idiotic people suggesting that I was pregnant when I in fact was NOT, but this is the first time someone as actually rubbed my NON-pregnant belly!  I did not like it.  One bit.  I'm getting back on my bicycle as soon as I get home!