Friday, March 9, 2012


I looked up the definition of "just" just to be sure. ha. There are several definitions of the word, but the one that applies to this ongoing situation is as follows: only, merely.

Here's the context. Before I had two children I had one. I would hear this comment frequently: Just the one? As in just the one child? Only one? Just one kid? JUST??!!! It's one of those words that the more and more I say it the less sense it makes. Just, just, just, just...

Isn't there a better way to ask if someone has more children? It implies insignificance. Like if you only have one child you have it easy or something's wrong with you. I know a lot of people have a problem with people only having one child. Like it's any of their business as to how many kids someone has. I mean people take it personal.

I guess I could see why some people would be offended by another's decision to only have one child. They are cursing their child with "only child syndrome." Their child will never have a sibling, will be lonely, etc. I still don't understand why people get so worked up about other's decisions to only have one child or not have any at all! Wait a minute, I'm a hypocrite, because I've had plenty of two cents about people who have WAY too many kids! oops!

BUT this is about me JUST having TWO children! Just the two? How many kids do STRANGERS expect me to have? When do people stop saying "just"? Do people say "just the three" or "just the five"? NO! That's when people start saying, "WOW! You've got your hands full!" So what is the perfect amount of kids for these "people"? I guess 2.5 it is because that's the magic number that's never going to happen and that's why no one is ever satisfied with how many kids you have!!

I will admit that I secretly have a longing for a large family BUT I refuse to birth any more babies out of THIS body and I DON'T believe that's what OUR bodies were made for. I don't exist to give birth. Sure, part of me wishes I could give my son a brother and my daughter a sister and they would always have each other. I value my sanity though. I don't believe this makes me selfish either. I will always do anything and everything for my TWO children. I love them more than ANYTHING in this world. They fill my heart and break it at the same time. To me no other love compares to this mother's love that I've recently discovered.

All this being said I respect people's decisions to only have one child or not have any children at all. But I do not respect the judgement of JUST! And I do have OPINIONS of some families that have excessive numbers of offspring. Especially as I pack another child into an already filled car in the carrider line every day! However, to each her own and at the end of the day the most important thing to me is JUST my two babies.