There's this position that Cannon sleeps in that is so stinkin cute and i just can't see how it could be comfortable. He's on his belly with his little hands tucked under his head and his lips pressed against the mattress in a way that they part. And his butt is so far up in the air that is looks like he might topple over if you poke it. And his little feet are tucked under his butt with his toes touching. He looks so cozy when he sleeps like this, so secure. Chris calls it the "Mount Saint Cannon Butt" position.
This just makes me think of how safe and secure he feels in his own bed. He trusts us, his parents, with all his little heart. It really baffles me how much trust he puts in us. How does he know that Mommy and Daddy are going to take care of him no matter what? It's the love he feels. He's felt it from day one. The hugs. The kisses. The I love yous. The doing whatever it takes to make my baby feel safe, loved, comfortable, secure.
Today Chris was singing a song to Cannon that went like "I would give everything I own, give up my life my heart my home, just to be with you again, just to have you back again." And I would. I started teasing him and singing Meatloaf's song "I would do anything for love." Then we ended up having meatloaf for dinner. haha. Anyway, I would give everything and I would do anything for my sweet baby boy. I love him so much. Sometimes I ache to hold him and I just can't get enough of him. It's the strangest love. The most amazing love. There's no love like this love.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Some thoughts on Cannon....
I usually find it annoying when mothers talk in first person as if they were the baby, but I've found myself doing it, too. Let's just face it--it's more fun that way! I used to think it silly when mothers would write facts about their babies as if they were writing to them, using the pronoun "you" instead of "he" or "she." But here I am doing it too!
I want to write down the little stuff before I forget. My mom is always telling me how she wishes she could remember certain things like when I first smiled or rolled over. She wishes she had written it down. Funny how "writing it down" isn't so literal anymore. So, I'm "blogging it down" I guess. Maybe I'll get around to making one of those cute baby books some day!
First off, Cannon, you are getting so big!! You only weighed 7-7 when you was born despite everyone's concern for you being quite a large baby (Daddy weighed 12-13!). You were born a puny little thing comparatively. One week later, at your first check up, you weight 7-11.
We had to take you to the doctor for an old snotty nose when you were three weeks old and you weighed a whopping 9-2 (granted you had a full diaper, but Mommy and Daddy were still so proud of how big you were!).
At your one month check up (which was really at about 6 weeks) you weighed 10-15! And at your two month check up (around 9 weeks) you weighed 12-15! You have been in the 75th%ile for weight and your head size...well, you take after Mommy's big head....was in the 100th %ile. You had to get some shots at that 2 month appointment. It was really pitiful. You were just cooing and smiling at the nurse and out of nowhere something got you!
Now you are over 3 months old (15 weeks tomorrow) and I'm thinking you weigh a good 15 or 16 pounds! You've outgrown those size one diapers and most of your 3 months clothes. You are getting so long! I got the measuring tape out and you are 2 feet long! You can't even stretch out in your sleepers so we had to buy you some 6 months clothes!
You can hold your head up pretty good now. It's still a little wobbly, but I think that is just due to it's massive size! It's hard to hold up all those brains! We are still working on rolling over. You LOVE your mobile! Your face just lights up whenever it comes on and sometimes you start fussing when it stops just so Mommy or Daddy will start it up again! You've been smiling now for a little over a month. Mommy is learning new tricks to get you to smile. Sometimes in the morning all I have to do is talk to you and your face lights up. You sure do wake up in a good mood now! You wake up talking to your mobile and sometimes you fall asleep talking to your mobile. Lately you've liked when i blow in your face. You have the cutest reaction. Mommy has got to get a video camera! You love your sleep. Boy do you get cranky when you are tired! I think you get that from Mommy too! You have been sleeping good at night too. You go to bed around 8. We let you get good and asleep on your belly then we flip you over. Sometimes you can sleep until 5 or 6, but of course last week when Mommy had to go to work you were waking up at 4:30. So close! You've never really been a fan of the swaddle, but it seemed like a sin in Mommy World not to swaddle you! When you were really little I would leave one arm out for you because you always managed to get it up by your face. Then I started leaving 2 arms out for you. Then one day I went in and you had your arms and legs out of that swaddle! Let's face it you are a sprawler when you sleep! That must come from Daddy because he is always hogging the bed! Since Mommy started going back to work I've been putting you in the bed with Daddy after I feed you. You like to go back to sleep for your morning nap. You usually sleep until 8 or so. Mommy sure does not like leaving you in the mornings, but I know Daddy is taking good care of you. And there are only 6 more weeks til summer vacation and we can spend all day together again!
During the day you and Daddy have a lot of fun. Daddy reads to you and makes up songs for you on the guitar. He even manages to do some laundry. You've started trying to copy some of the sounds Daddy makes for you. You are so smart!
You don't seem to mind the bath. it's more like a shower I guess. You don't smile, but you don't fuss either. I think you are still trying to figure out what's going on. And boy do you LOVE to be naked. Whenever I take your clothes off to change them and then take your diaper off, you do a little naked dance! You start kicking your legs and making all sorts of noise! It's quite entertaining. Mommy has to be careful so you don't pee on me!
We've already made lots of family memories since you've been born. You've been quite adventurous...you've been to the beach and the mountains already! And you love going to grandmama's and granddaddy's house in the country! You are a good sport and a really good baby. You are the best Christmas present ever!
I want to write down the little stuff before I forget. My mom is always telling me how she wishes she could remember certain things like when I first smiled or rolled over. She wishes she had written it down. Funny how "writing it down" isn't so literal anymore. So, I'm "blogging it down" I guess. Maybe I'll get around to making one of those cute baby books some day!
First off, Cannon, you are getting so big!! You only weighed 7-7 when you was born despite everyone's concern for you being quite a large baby (Daddy weighed 12-13!). You were born a puny little thing comparatively. One week later, at your first check up, you weight 7-11.
We had to take you to the doctor for an old snotty nose when you were three weeks old and you weighed a whopping 9-2 (granted you had a full diaper, but Mommy and Daddy were still so proud of how big you were!).
At your one month check up (which was really at about 6 weeks) you weighed 10-15! And at your two month check up (around 9 weeks) you weighed 12-15! You have been in the 75th%ile for weight and your head size...well, you take after Mommy's big head....was in the 100th %ile. You had to get some shots at that 2 month appointment. It was really pitiful. You were just cooing and smiling at the nurse and out of nowhere something got you!
Now you are over 3 months old (15 weeks tomorrow) and I'm thinking you weigh a good 15 or 16 pounds! You've outgrown those size one diapers and most of your 3 months clothes. You are getting so long! I got the measuring tape out and you are 2 feet long! You can't even stretch out in your sleepers so we had to buy you some 6 months clothes!
You can hold your head up pretty good now. It's still a little wobbly, but I think that is just due to it's massive size! It's hard to hold up all those brains! We are still working on rolling over. You LOVE your mobile! Your face just lights up whenever it comes on and sometimes you start fussing when it stops just so Mommy or Daddy will start it up again! You've been smiling now for a little over a month. Mommy is learning new tricks to get you to smile. Sometimes in the morning all I have to do is talk to you and your face lights up. You sure do wake up in a good mood now! You wake up talking to your mobile and sometimes you fall asleep talking to your mobile. Lately you've liked when i blow in your face. You have the cutest reaction. Mommy has got to get a video camera! You love your sleep. Boy do you get cranky when you are tired! I think you get that from Mommy too! You have been sleeping good at night too. You go to bed around 8. We let you get good and asleep on your belly then we flip you over. Sometimes you can sleep until 5 or 6, but of course last week when Mommy had to go to work you were waking up at 4:30. So close! You've never really been a fan of the swaddle, but it seemed like a sin in Mommy World not to swaddle you! When you were really little I would leave one arm out for you because you always managed to get it up by your face. Then I started leaving 2 arms out for you. Then one day I went in and you had your arms and legs out of that swaddle! Let's face it you are a sprawler when you sleep! That must come from Daddy because he is always hogging the bed! Since Mommy started going back to work I've been putting you in the bed with Daddy after I feed you. You like to go back to sleep for your morning nap. You usually sleep until 8 or so. Mommy sure does not like leaving you in the mornings, but I know Daddy is taking good care of you. And there are only 6 more weeks til summer vacation and we can spend all day together again!
During the day you and Daddy have a lot of fun. Daddy reads to you and makes up songs for you on the guitar. He even manages to do some laundry. You've started trying to copy some of the sounds Daddy makes for you. You are so smart!
You don't seem to mind the bath. it's more like a shower I guess. You don't smile, but you don't fuss either. I think you are still trying to figure out what's going on. And boy do you LOVE to be naked. Whenever I take your clothes off to change them and then take your diaper off, you do a little naked dance! You start kicking your legs and making all sorts of noise! It's quite entertaining. Mommy has to be careful so you don't pee on me!
We've already made lots of family memories since you've been born. You've been quite adventurous...you've been to the beach and the mountains already! And you love going to grandmama's and granddaddy's house in the country! You are a good sport and a really good baby. You are the best Christmas present ever!
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
It's on...
well, the weightloss extravaganza has officially begun. chris and i weighed in on saturday and every saturday will be a weigh in day. while chris has lost 3 pounds doing pretty much nothing, i've decided NOT to step on the scale every single day due to the disappointment it causes me. so i've decided to wait until saturday. plus i've convinced myself that a person's weight can fluctuate 5 pounds on any given day. chris refuses to believe this though. anywho, i went out and bought a scale for the first time in my adult life. i snagged one at bed bath and beyond for $14.99 b/c it was the display model. and it's digital, which i think has it's downfalls. i really don't need to know what's after that point! i'd rather round down! anywho...here's what i've been doing so far. i've decided to keep a record of it this way just b/c i'm a faster typer than writer and it will be well documented.
saturday 3/6-walked daisy to the park by our house. i clocked it in the car to the entrance of the park and back is 1.1 miles, BUT i walked into the park and did the loop trail which i don't know the exact milage of but i am estimating a total round trip of 2 miles.
monday 3/8-walked daisy again to the park and back. went to the community center which is FREE and got my ID. did 30 minutes on the stationery bike and 30 reps on this pull down thing you do with your arms. i got a class schedule, too. THEN when i got back it was so beautiful outside, chris and i took cannon for a walk on the SCT. thankfully they have mile markers there and we walked 3 miles! now needless to say i was pretty pooped after that eventful day. i think i overdid it actually considering i haven't exercised really in almost a year due to the pregnancy and birthing of the baby.
tuesday 3/9-walked daisy again. she is loving this! then burned lots of calories cleaning and rearranging furniture.
wednesday 3/10- rainy day:( but it was nice to sleep in when it's raining outside. so i broke out the pilates video that i've had for probably 6 years, but hey it still works. i used to do this video pretty regularly and was surprised today at how little flexibility i have left. plus it was hard to do some of the exercises over the pillow which is my belly. i do always feel nice and stretched afterwards and it really helps with breathing. so i'll keep doing it. there is also a part to the video that involves weights which i'm thinking about doing. i'm also contemplating busting out the carmen electra video! and maybe a class tonight at the community center. sorry daisy, no walk today. well, time to feed the baby=more calories burned! thanks, cannon!
saturday 3/6-walked daisy to the park by our house. i clocked it in the car to the entrance of the park and back is 1.1 miles, BUT i walked into the park and did the loop trail which i don't know the exact milage of but i am estimating a total round trip of 2 miles.
monday 3/8-walked daisy again to the park and back. went to the community center which is FREE and got my ID. did 30 minutes on the stationery bike and 30 reps on this pull down thing you do with your arms. i got a class schedule, too. THEN when i got back it was so beautiful outside, chris and i took cannon for a walk on the SCT. thankfully they have mile markers there and we walked 3 miles! now needless to say i was pretty pooped after that eventful day. i think i overdid it actually considering i haven't exercised really in almost a year due to the pregnancy and birthing of the baby.
tuesday 3/9-walked daisy again. she is loving this! then burned lots of calories cleaning and rearranging furniture.
wednesday 3/10- rainy day:( but it was nice to sleep in when it's raining outside. so i broke out the pilates video that i've had for probably 6 years, but hey it still works. i used to do this video pretty regularly and was surprised today at how little flexibility i have left. plus it was hard to do some of the exercises over the pillow which is my belly. i do always feel nice and stretched afterwards and it really helps with breathing. so i'll keep doing it. there is also a part to the video that involves weights which i'm thinking about doing. i'm also contemplating busting out the carmen electra video! and maybe a class tonight at the community center. sorry daisy, no walk today. well, time to feed the baby=more calories burned! thanks, cannon!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
the motivator.
at school we have this paragraph, well it's more like an essay called "the motivator." it's one of those things kids have to write when their discipline is lacking. it starts off, "i am in school to learn..." and goes on mentioning things like success and education and being the best you can be. the kids read it and copy it in hopes that some of the words will sink in. however, most are capable of copying the whole thing, which takes up their notebook paper front and back, without being able to tell you one thing they have written. does it work? well, it works in the sense that they straighten up thier attitude so they won't have to write "the motivator" anymore. does it help them want to reach for the stars and strive for achievement? probably not. they're ten.
i'm thinking i need a "motivator."
chris and i have a bet going. a weight loss bet. i'm still carrying around the weight of two more babies! last week we went on vacation. we walked or rode our bikes every day! one day we walked over 5 miles! i almost didn't make it on that day...i was on the verge of flagging down the elderly in their golf carts. seriously two senior citizens passed me on foot. i am slowly getting back out there. then we got home and stuck back in this hustle and bustle of everday life. the day flies and before i know it it's dark and i'm too pooped to play. but i feel like scarlett o'hara. tomorrow is another day.
i am going to put down the m&ms and wipe the dust off my carmen electra "fit to strip" dvd! or i will have to write "the MOTIVATOR"!
i'm thinking i need a "motivator."
chris and i have a bet going. a weight loss bet. i'm still carrying around the weight of two more babies! last week we went on vacation. we walked or rode our bikes every day! one day we walked over 5 miles! i almost didn't make it on that day...i was on the verge of flagging down the elderly in their golf carts. seriously two senior citizens passed me on foot. i am slowly getting back out there. then we got home and stuck back in this hustle and bustle of everday life. the day flies and before i know it it's dark and i'm too pooped to play. but i feel like scarlett o'hara. tomorrow is another day.
i am going to put down the m&ms and wipe the dust off my carmen electra "fit to strip" dvd! or i will have to write "the MOTIVATOR"!
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Ka-WRONG...nice lies your friends (or strangers) tell you. Along with Christmas Day 2009.
1. you look great.
2. just breastfeed, the weight will come right off....ka-wrong again...i weigh 3 MORE pounds than i did three weeks ago.
3. just rub lotion on yourself and you won't get stretch marks...ka-wrong again... i used lotion everyday and i will never wear shorts or a two piece again. i'm saving up for a one piece with skirt.
4. oh a c-section will be easy...you'll be fine.
i'm not bitter...just thinking of joining "The Biggest Loser" season 10! Still carrying around 20+ extra pounds, but not to worry cuz i have a plan!
so, it's been a whole 2 months since my sweet baby boy was born and we are having so much fun. he's starting to coo alot and smile and even giggle every once in a while. it's hard to catch those sweet moments on camera, though. i don't EVER want to go back to work and leave my baby boy, and i am EXTREMELY jealous that his daddy gets to stay home with him! i still have four more weeks to spend all day with him though. maternity leave in america is a joke, but that's a rant for another day...
i'm going to back track a little...i can't believe it's been 2 months since cannon's birth....i do wish i had recorded more facts as i went along. i've got to get on that baby book, too. my mom is always saying, "write this down so you won't forget b/c i sure have."
As much as i had rather him not come on Christmas Day, he sure enough did! and now i wouldn't have it any other way b/c that makes his birthday extra special. i guess if he has to share his birthday with anybody, it might as well be Jesus!! though some will argue (namely my husband) that Jesus wasn't born on December 25 at all...anywho....
So, about three weeks before cannon was born i was not feeling so hot at all! i did not think i was going to make it to my due date, nor did anyone at work. they actually had a betting pool going as to when he was coming! don't think i didn't try to get in on that action. i bet the 26th...so close! Month 8 was a rough one...rougher than month 9 in my opinion. but that passed and i kept showing up to work, and people kept saying, "you're still here?" "haven't had that baby yet?" blah blah...you know. well, about 10 days before he got here, i started having braxton hicks contractions very consistently (i had been having them for a long time, but they just got consistent). every 15 minutes like clockwork. i started to think i'm going to have this baby anyday now! i really wanted to make it til christmas vacation, though. lord knows i did not want to go into labor at school! that went on for about a week and 3 days before Christmas (aka cannon's birthday) i started having REAL contractions. at first i thought i just had to go to the bathroom. you know that crampy constipated feeling. ha. i made chris time the contractions, but they weren't consistent and they subsided. this went on for the next 2 nights. wednesday night 9the 23rd) they were more consistent, but still not the "real thing." finally thursday, Christmas Eve, around 4 in the afternoon they started coming closer together. i knew for sure that i was having this baby soon! so the WHOLE family was already coming over for Christmas Eve dinner. my family and chris's family. i knew i better eat up b/c i heard they won't let you eat at the hospital when you're in labor. only those d^&% ice chips! so i ate everything i could and two desserts.
i was thinking these contractions aren't so bad i can handle this. i would just kinda cringe until it passed. definitely uncomfortable, but not unbearable. definitely not a time i won't someone rubbing my belly like chris's mom asked to do right in the middle of a contraction! so i started sitting on my "birthing ball" aka the same thing as an exercise ball that i purchased earlier in the week b/c i read that it helps. well, it helps with those early contractions yes. 7 cm is a different story where no stupid ball is helping except to throw at the people who want to touch me.
so 10pm i'm going to try to get some sleep b/c i'm thinking tomorrow i am having a baby...baby yes, sleep no. the contractions started coming closer together and lasting longer. chris still wasn't convinced that this was "it" after three days of contractions. he made me the sock with the rice that you put in the microwave. he rubbed my back and helped as much as he could by rubbing my back and pressing hard. my goal was to stay at home as long as i could. after every contraction i would have to go to the bathroom. at 1:00 we called the midwife. yes, sounds like you are in labor. i would guess 3 cm at this point. i lasted about another hour and then i had to go.
the car ride was NOT fun. especially since chris was driving and could rub my back. i was moaning and groaning and carrying on and chris was calling people to say we were on the way to the hospital and that he was fairly certain this was the real deal. excuse me? fairly certain? ok ok certain. no fairly. luckily there was zero traffic at 2 am on christmas morning, but it was raining.
we made it to the hospital and again not a soul... i later learned that one poor lady did not make it to the hospital and ended up having her baby in the car in the parking lot at the hospital!
i was already dilated 5 cm at this point and beginning to think i am not going to make it to 10!!! I was trying really hard to focus and breath, but the contractions at 5 cm were ALOT different than the contractions at 2! so i moaned and groaned for about 3 more hours until the contractions were coming so fast and hard i just physically could not take it anymore. i was shaking and exhausted. i had made it to 7 cm though!
i got the epidural. well, i waited for the epidural guy to get there first. they sure do take their sweet precious time! oh and you have to be still when they put that thing in. kinda hard to do if you're having a contraction. but i did it. i prayed really hard. this is what they tell you. you will feel the first contraction. the second one will be less evident. and you shouldn't feel it by the time you get to the third one. wrong. i still felt it. i was crying. i thought you weren't supposed to feel it. why do i feel it? i wouldn't have got it if i could still feel it. tears. finally kicked in. really kicked in. couldn't feel a THING.
thought i would take a nap. nope. shaking. shivering. 2 more hours passed. time to start pushing. looks like we'll have a baby here in about an hour or so. 7 am. push. i am pushing. no you're not. push harder. i can't feel anything. i don't know if i'm pushing or not. push. throw up. throw up. no water. only ice chips. push. push. push. the baby hasn't "dropped" yet. i didn't know this, but you have to get from 0 to 4 and i was only at zero. i pushed and pushed and pushed. still not good enough. turn the epidural down. didn't know you could do that. well once you turn it down apparently you can't turn it back up cuz i felt it. i pushed for 2 hours and guess what? still at zero!! i am crying and crying. i can't even hold my legs up. the midwives and nurses start to whisper. i know what they are going to say....c-section. failure to descend is what they call it. his head is too big and my pelvis is too small. on the inside. my pelvis is plenty big on the outside.
more epidural. hurry up. i can feel it. i'm watching my contractions on the contraction monitoring screen. those things were spiking up really high and lasting really long. lots of epidural. i have to be numb up to my chest for the surgery. the major surgery. people talk about c-sections so casually like it's nothing. well, it's something. finally numb. maybe too numb. my hands start to feel tingly too.
9:53 am. he's here!! 7 pounds 7 ounces! so tiny. so beautiful. so perfect.
2. just breastfeed, the weight will come right off....ka-wrong again...i weigh 3 MORE pounds than i did three weeks ago.
3. just rub lotion on yourself and you won't get stretch marks...ka-wrong again... i used lotion everyday and i will never wear shorts or a two piece again. i'm saving up for a one piece with skirt.
4. oh a c-section will be easy...you'll be fine.
i'm not bitter...just thinking of joining "The Biggest Loser" season 10! Still carrying around 20+ extra pounds, but not to worry cuz i have a plan!
so, it's been a whole 2 months since my sweet baby boy was born and we are having so much fun. he's starting to coo alot and smile and even giggle every once in a while. it's hard to catch those sweet moments on camera, though. i don't EVER want to go back to work and leave my baby boy, and i am EXTREMELY jealous that his daddy gets to stay home with him! i still have four more weeks to spend all day with him though. maternity leave in america is a joke, but that's a rant for another day...
i'm going to back track a little...i can't believe it's been 2 months since cannon's birth....i do wish i had recorded more facts as i went along. i've got to get on that baby book, too. my mom is always saying, "write this down so you won't forget b/c i sure have."
As much as i had rather him not come on Christmas Day, he sure enough did! and now i wouldn't have it any other way b/c that makes his birthday extra special. i guess if he has to share his birthday with anybody, it might as well be Jesus!! though some will argue (namely my husband) that Jesus wasn't born on December 25 at all...anywho....
So, about three weeks before cannon was born i was not feeling so hot at all! i did not think i was going to make it to my due date, nor did anyone at work. they actually had a betting pool going as to when he was coming! don't think i didn't try to get in on that action. i bet the 26th...so close! Month 8 was a rough one...rougher than month 9 in my opinion. but that passed and i kept showing up to work, and people kept saying, "you're still here?" "haven't had that baby yet?" blah blah...you know. well, about 10 days before he got here, i started having braxton hicks contractions very consistently (i had been having them for a long time, but they just got consistent). every 15 minutes like clockwork. i started to think i'm going to have this baby anyday now! i really wanted to make it til christmas vacation, though. lord knows i did not want to go into labor at school! that went on for about a week and 3 days before Christmas (aka cannon's birthday) i started having REAL contractions. at first i thought i just had to go to the bathroom. you know that crampy constipated feeling. ha. i made chris time the contractions, but they weren't consistent and they subsided. this went on for the next 2 nights. wednesday night 9the 23rd) they were more consistent, but still not the "real thing." finally thursday, Christmas Eve, around 4 in the afternoon they started coming closer together. i knew for sure that i was having this baby soon! so the WHOLE family was already coming over for Christmas Eve dinner. my family and chris's family. i knew i better eat up b/c i heard they won't let you eat at the hospital when you're in labor. only those d^&% ice chips! so i ate everything i could and two desserts.
i was thinking these contractions aren't so bad i can handle this. i would just kinda cringe until it passed. definitely uncomfortable, but not unbearable. definitely not a time i won't someone rubbing my belly like chris's mom asked to do right in the middle of a contraction! so i started sitting on my "birthing ball" aka the same thing as an exercise ball that i purchased earlier in the week b/c i read that it helps. well, it helps with those early contractions yes. 7 cm is a different story where no stupid ball is helping except to throw at the people who want to touch me.
so 10pm i'm going to try to get some sleep b/c i'm thinking tomorrow i am having a baby...baby yes, sleep no. the contractions started coming closer together and lasting longer. chris still wasn't convinced that this was "it" after three days of contractions. he made me the sock with the rice that you put in the microwave. he rubbed my back and helped as much as he could by rubbing my back and pressing hard. my goal was to stay at home as long as i could. after every contraction i would have to go to the bathroom. at 1:00 we called the midwife. yes, sounds like you are in labor. i would guess 3 cm at this point. i lasted about another hour and then i had to go.
the car ride was NOT fun. especially since chris was driving and could rub my back. i was moaning and groaning and carrying on and chris was calling people to say we were on the way to the hospital and that he was fairly certain this was the real deal. excuse me? fairly certain? ok ok certain. no fairly. luckily there was zero traffic at 2 am on christmas morning, but it was raining.
we made it to the hospital and again not a soul... i later learned that one poor lady did not make it to the hospital and ended up having her baby in the car in the parking lot at the hospital!
i was already dilated 5 cm at this point and beginning to think i am not going to make it to 10!!! I was trying really hard to focus and breath, but the contractions at 5 cm were ALOT different than the contractions at 2! so i moaned and groaned for about 3 more hours until the contractions were coming so fast and hard i just physically could not take it anymore. i was shaking and exhausted. i had made it to 7 cm though!
i got the epidural. well, i waited for the epidural guy to get there first. they sure do take their sweet precious time! oh and you have to be still when they put that thing in. kinda hard to do if you're having a contraction. but i did it. i prayed really hard. this is what they tell you. you will feel the first contraction. the second one will be less evident. and you shouldn't feel it by the time you get to the third one. wrong. i still felt it. i was crying. i thought you weren't supposed to feel it. why do i feel it? i wouldn't have got it if i could still feel it. tears. finally kicked in. really kicked in. couldn't feel a THING.
thought i would take a nap. nope. shaking. shivering. 2 more hours passed. time to start pushing. looks like we'll have a baby here in about an hour or so. 7 am. push. i am pushing. no you're not. push harder. i can't feel anything. i don't know if i'm pushing or not. push. throw up. throw up. no water. only ice chips. push. push. push. the baby hasn't "dropped" yet. i didn't know this, but you have to get from 0 to 4 and i was only at zero. i pushed and pushed and pushed. still not good enough. turn the epidural down. didn't know you could do that. well once you turn it down apparently you can't turn it back up cuz i felt it. i pushed for 2 hours and guess what? still at zero!! i am crying and crying. i can't even hold my legs up. the midwives and nurses start to whisper. i know what they are going to say....c-section. failure to descend is what they call it. his head is too big and my pelvis is too small. on the inside. my pelvis is plenty big on the outside.
more epidural. hurry up. i can feel it. i'm watching my contractions on the contraction monitoring screen. those things were spiking up really high and lasting really long. lots of epidural. i have to be numb up to my chest for the surgery. the major surgery. people talk about c-sections so casually like it's nothing. well, it's something. finally numb. maybe too numb. my hands start to feel tingly too.
9:53 am. he's here!! 7 pounds 7 ounces! so tiny. so beautiful. so perfect.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Ramsey Shamsey
If Dave Ramsey really wants to help get you out of debt, why does he charge you $125 to tell you how? Um, do you take Visa, Dave? How about monthly installments?
Thursday, September 3, 2009
The baby in my belly....the rump in my rib
So, I've been reading that book...you know the one, What to Expect When You're Expecting. Well, there's a lot you should be expecting...they don't tell you all of it though. Apparently my uterus is now the size of a basketball! So...I guess I look like I swallowed a basketball...a 20 pound basketball at that! The baby, however, only weighs about one of those pounds. Therefore my uterus (that is such a wierd word) is a big ol swimming pool to him. He's down, he's up, he's doing flips, he's kicking, he's punching, somersaults, flips, and even wedging himself into corners. I've mostly felt him moving around down south, but I swear the other night he was stuck under my ribs. I think he swam up there, bent over, and couldn't get out for about half a day. You know like when Winnie the Pooh got stuck in the rabbit hole and couldn't get out so Rabbit put a frame around his bum, which by the way I think is going to be my halloween costume...a frame around my belly with a squiggly smiley face on it...
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